Lance Armstrong Finishes Behind Teammate Floyd Landis in Season Premier
In his first race of the year, the Volta ao Algarve, Lance Armstrong finished fifth after winning the individual time trial on a new machine, while his USPS teammate Floyd Landis took the final stage and the overall victory.

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Yeeehaaa!

Unbelievable! For the second time, Adam Vinatieri kicks the Super Bowl winning field goal. Yay, Pats!
Photo by Richard Carson/Reuters

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Go Pats!

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Go Pats!

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Happy New Year, Goldberg
Here's a good old one that a friend sent to me to kick off the new year with a grin.

Goldberg was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know.  Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Goldberg, how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Goldberg and his boss flew out to Hollywood and knocked on Tom Cruise's door. When he saw who his visitors were, sure enough, Tom Cruise shouted, "Goldberg!  Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Goldberg's boss was still skeptical. After they had left Cruise's home, he told Goldberg that he thought Goldberg's knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Goldberg said.

"President Bush," his boss quickly retorted.

"Yes," Goldberg replied, "I know him. Let's fly out to Washington."

And off they went.  

At the White House, Bush spotted Goldberg on the tour and motioned him and his boss over, saying, "Goldberg! What a surprise! I’m on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in. Let's have a cup of coffee first, and catch up."

Well, the boss felt somewhat shaken at this point, but he was still not totally convinced. After they’d left the White House grounds, he expressed his doubts to Goldberg, who again implored him to name anyone else, anyone at all.

"The Pope," replied his boss.

"A good man!" said Goldberg. "I've known the Pope a long time."

So off they flew to Rome.

Goldberg and his boss had joined the assembled multitude in Vatican Square when  Goldberg said, "This will never work.  I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people.  Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

With that, he disappeared into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.  

Sure enough, half an hour later Goldberg emerged with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Goldberg returned, he found that his boss had had a heart attack and was surrounded by paramedics.  

Working his way to his boss's side, Goldberg asked him, "What happened?"

His boss looked up and said weakly, "I was doing fine when you and the Pope came out on the balcony, till the Japanese tourist next to me asked, “Who's that on the balcony with Goldberg?”"

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Wonalancet
One of my favorite areas for hiking is the Sandwich Range; shown in the picture, taken from Ferncroft Rd., are Mt. Wonalancet and Mt. Whiteface in the background.
The many trails maintained by the Wonalancet Out Door Club are among the best in the White Mountain National Forest.

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YAPTU (Yet Another PMC Training Update)
Yesterday I rode a pretty flat (all east of route 1 in Hampton, North Hampton, and Rye), 26 mile circuit at an average speed of 18.6 miles per hour - not quite Jan Ullrich's 30 mph, but good by my aging standards. With two weeks to go until the Pan-Mass Challenge I've ridden 1,360 miles in the past quarter, 13 weeks, including six 50 milers, three 100ks, and one 80 miler.

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Pan-Mass Challenge Training Update with Three Weeks to Go
This morning I rode a 32 mile circuit at an average speed of 18 miles per hour, making 132 miles for the week, and 1,410 miles for the season.

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The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (or just before Uranus)
On my bike tour of the solar system I had planned to eat in the neighborhood of the Sun, but, having started early, arrived in Presque Isle mid-morning, so decided to have a Gatorade "energy bar" and find lunch on the way back to Houlton. In the town of Bridgewater, about halfway out to Pluto and just sunward of Uranus, I spotted the Country Bakery on the right side of the road. I dropped out of hyperspace and, peering in through the door, saw that they had subs; just what I wanted. I stepped in, ordered a 12" classic, and downed a bottle of PowerAde while the sandwich was being assembled.

Wandering around the little shop, I spotted a brochure, amongst various promotional literature, of The Maine Solar System Model. What luck! I hadn't found one in Houlton since I had left before the Visitor Information Center room had opened. Now I had some reading material to peruse during my meal. The brochure is quite well done and a handy reference to have along for the ride, better than my handwritten notes cribbed from the website.

A 12" sub was more than I could eat right then, but the shopkeeper was kind enough to wrap half of it to go as well as refilling one of my water bottles. I left with the brochure and 6" of grinder added to my back pockets and zoomed (did I mention the tailwind?) past Uranus and Neptune on my way back to Pluto. At the rest area in Houlton, I enjoyed the beautiful weather as I sat at a picnic table in the shade under pine trees, and finished the rest of my sandwich.

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The Bike Rider's Guide to the Solar System (Model in Maine)
Friday, as promised, I biked the Maine Solar System Model, from Pluto at the Visitor Information Center in Houlton, around the Sun at the Northern Maine Museum of Science at the University of Maine at Presque Isle, and back out to Pluto again; an 80 mile roundtrip. Given that the scaled speed of light is seven miles per hour, I was in hyperspace while on the bike, breaking the comet metaphor.

The gas giants are striking and hard to miss, while the inner planets, being so small, are not easy to see, but not hard to find, since they are all within a mile and a half of the Sun and their locations are well described in the guide (Earth: mostly harmless). Pluto and Charon are inside the Visitor Center, in the corridor between the restrooms and the information area.

I was pleased that this turned out to be a good ride. U.S. Route 1 rolls over the gradual hills of Aroostook County - always going up or down, never severely, though enough that there are climbing lanes on many of the uphill sides - with the crests from about one to three miles apart, and with an insignificant elevation gain from Houlton to Presque Isle. Since this is farm country, open views of the surrounding fields and hills abound. The rode is generally very good with full-lane, well paved shoulders for the southern 25 miles, except where there are climbing lanes, and three foot paved shoulders elsewhere, allowing plenty of clearance between bicyclist and traffic, which while light has a large fraction of trucks roaring by at a good clip in the 55 mph speed limit that prevails for all but the middle of a few towns.

At present, there is road construction, covering about a mile just north of the center of Mars Hill. You might wish that you had your mountain bike for this nasty section as the whole thing is wet, and dirt except for one part that is one lane and covered with fist size crushed rock, where I felt as though I was in the Paris-Roubaix, but with loose, sharp pavé. If not for the fact that this comes between Saturn and Uranus - a long way from Mars, in spite of the town's name - this might be considered the asteroid belt that's missing from the model.

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Back-to-Back 50 Milers, Yesterday and Today
OK, the truth is that I cut yesterday's bike ride short, to 49 miles, because of rain, but made up for it today by riding 53.

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My First Dip of the Season
As forecast, a southwest breeze had come up in the early afternoon, producing, along with a temperature in the high 70s, very comfortable conditions for lake sailing, especially for mid-May. From the Point of Pines, the best place to head in that kind of wind is the small bay south of Hay's reef, off the state beach. There I was, catching a pretty good puff and barreling along, hiked out on a close reach when the Laser fell headlong into a hole, leaving me to scramble to leeward trying to keep from going over backwards. I failed to keep the boat from capsizing and so ended up gasping in the very chilly water.

Generally, one proves his or her stalwart constitution by taking a quick dip around Memorial Day. In a year when the winter had been very cold and the ice went out rather late, I was beating that by a good week. Worse, as I was getting my reaction to the cold under control the boat turned completely upside down, allowing the centerboard to fall out. Now I had to haul the boat back on its gunwale by working from the bottom, then swim around to the topside and push the centerboard back in so that, returning to the bottom I could use the protruding centerboard to right the boat - not what you would call a quick dip. But once I was back onboard and sailing again under the bright, thin clouds, I could not have been happier.

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